Naughty Chilies

Notice those tiny red weapons of mass destruction up there?

Well i was stir frying the portable family a vegetable dish earlier this evening, see. So i chopped the usual: onion, garlic & of course, it wouldn't be complete without dropping in some good ol' tiny chillies. I plopped two into the wok, along with a lil hint of black pepper and generous splash of tabasco sauce. Heheh. Sounds evil i know. Well i have a reputation to live up to too, y'know.

My faith in karma really hit me hard this time. I had the most irksome itch right up the left rim of my nose.

It came, then it went away.
Came again, then went away again.
Itch, no itch.
On, off.

OK so you get the picture. Simultaneously, i was unable to resist my temptation and gave my nose a long, hard scratch.

Ahh~ nothing more soothing than a nose job.

Soon i realised that while i had managed to give my nose a top-rated treatment, i certainly failed to do so on the hand-washing department. Within a split second my nose was engulfed with inferno.

PADAS TU BAYI!

Translation: Damn that's hot!
[NB: not a literal translation.]

So i rubbed my nose again, hoping that it would rub the the heat off. And this time, much more furiously & rapidly. Yes i know what you're thinking - It will only trigger the heat on both sides this time instead of making it dissapear. But you know what? You're wrong. HAH!

Because it did not trigger the heat. It burnt my friggin nose you silly you.

There i attempted in cooling it by washing it off but i couldn't tolerate the shame in stepping out of my room with two very enlarged nostrils. What on earth was David Meera's dad gonna think of me now? I've mutated into a hippopotamus. That's what. Hmph.

Speaking of chilli spots, i remember one of my loony mates, the queen of klutz, Mrs.KL, preparing us some chilli corn carne on one drunken nite. Then as she was amidst of dicing the tiny chilli padies, i assumed that the booze was pounding against her bladder. So she made a dash outta the kitchen towards the loo. When she came back she was fanning her fanny like crazy.

"Chibai kia! My chibai so hot!"
[NB: chibai = fanny]

Never fail to crack me up whenever that tragedy comes to mind.

But then again, who am i to judge anyway? I torched my nostrils too. Pfft.

Need a green tea break. Oh apparently this article here from The Age reported some really good stuff about tea enthusiasts: that it would help prevent alzheimer's disease. Hooray for me! Alas the beginning of my journey to repairing my memory, which has an attention span of a goldfish.

Of course, other measures include washing hands thouroughly after every chilli operation.

More Less Action

mp3:
Lamb - Gabriel
Bent - Swollen
Pink Martini - Sympathique
Digby Jones - Pina Colada [Jazz Mix]
Deep & Wode - Easy Rider

A very tiring week indeed. Been running around like a lost hyenna getting the major marketing project, which is to establish a company that produces a breakfast cereal package. How exciting. Also, been doing tons of researching on some Australian company for the major accounting project. Then there's business law e-quizes and such. So there, the academic side of my life. I told you i haven't been partying 24/7. Now that we've sorted that loud & clear, let's shove it out of the way, shall we? Very happy to put that aside.

Had a wonderful time last nite. Good music, good buzz. Definitely paid-off all that hard work and brain racking sessions. Thanx again to the man, the lovely David Meera. I owe you one buddy. Will definitely return the favour fairly soon. Us mad pricks have to stick together, y'know.

Then of course, there's the unforgettable and perhaps, embarrasing highlight when my klutzy hormones kicked in and caused me to smack this lesbian chick in the face.

Whoops!

OK so here's the nitty-gritty scoop. A couple of weeks ago when the gang went to The Family for a fren's b'day celebratoin, this lady, Ms.M, who was dancin in front of me pointed out how groovy my hat was. So i was like, yeah ok thanx mate. Then she kept goin on and on about how unique it was and how she much she admires it.

Get over it woman. It's just a friggin barette.

So the usual: nod, nod, smile, smile. My mind was screaming to get on dancing coz the buzz was really working its way into the system. Then after what seemed like a desperate urge to get it out, she gushed, "Can i just say how incredibly gorgeous you are?"

*Gulp!*

I didn't know where to look. I was torn between embarassment, flattery and extreme awkwardness. So i squaked a timid, "You too," to which i got a reply, "Thank you. Say how come i've never seen you around before?"

It was really tempting to blurt out, "Coz you didn't look hard enough." But of course, that would lead to a whole different story now, wouldn't it?

So i just shrugged politely, excused myself & made a dash towards the loo only to crack up laughing on my own.

I GOT PICKED UP BY A HOT LESBIAN!

Man if i were gay i'd be all over her. Yes she was pretty. Tall and blonde. Thankfully we don't have to worry about that department though. Then i shared this story with David Meera whom, as expected, made some really nasty comments which i am in no hurry to disclose here. LOL.

Wortsits.

I don't know why i said that either. Just felt like it. Hee haw.

So back to last nite's agenda. The same chick, Ms.M, was chattering to me about some things i can't make out clearly what because:
1. Music was blaring hard & loud.
2. Buzz was distorting my senses.

Oh hold the phone. *Ponders hard* Right, it was about how she chose to wear glasses that night instead of contacts because she couldn't be bothered to have them on. After all, i wear them, she said.

Wow. Am i THAT big on influencing people? Yipes.

Then at one point, she shielded the left side of my view with her hand to mock the other two ladies at the corner who were all over each other. So i did this gesture of waving the thought out of my head coz i obviously have seen more than where that came from. Y'know, the 'whatever-man-i-don't-give-a-damn' wave. Unfortunately, the timing was perfect. Why? Because as i was doing that, Ms.M bent over to say more things [coz the lady is damn tall]. That's when i slapped her - by accident. So you can imagine the horrific look on both our faces: hers from bewilderment, mine from embarassment.

Sor-rey!

So shit. So malu la.

But then again, oh well. It's not like it mattered anyway. Just at that time when her ex-girlfriend gave me a long & cold glare. WHAT?! Think i'm gonna court your lady? Pfft.

No really, PFFFTTT.

OK retreating to the books again. Just thought i'd amuse you with that little tale there. Take care, all you beautiful people.

Alive and Kicking

After what seemed like forty-eight hours worth of agony and sheets upon sheets of kleenex, i finally got what i wished for:

I'M CURED BABY!

Hooray fer me, beetch. *mwahzz* me.

OK obviously the fever got to me brains, which is, by the way, at the size of a shrivelled green pea.

See, the deal was, i vowed to Ms.YK, who insisted on paracetamols or neurofens, that i would gain full recovery by today. Being the stubborn cow that i am, i strongly objected the idea of turning to chemicals as my system is already fully loaded with them. The last thing i need is just more toxic in my body. So i made an oath that i would not rely on such medicines; that i would put my immune system to a test with the aid of drug-free herbal pain killers and spirulina tablets.

And boy did it work wonders for me. Gulped down plenty of water with four of the gigantic herbal medicine and ten spirulinas. Topped it off with a nutritious cereal beverage and a good nite's sleep. Wa lah~ I'm healthy again the minute i opened my oversized-but-half-blind eyes.

No mucus.
No chest pains.
No panda eyes.
No migraines.

I'm as good as new!

Except for that bit of being half-blind. I wonder if eating three kilos of raw baby carrots could do the trick. Hmm... Oh and also, i haven't missed [and i don't intend to] any of my fasting days too.

So, am i not an inpiration to you already? Hyuk hyuk hyuk!

Buzzaway

Well, well, well. This is rather contradicting:

"Israel�s Justice Ministry announced this week that people caught in possession of up to five ecstasy pills will no longer face prosecution, and explained that the change is �a case of adapting legislation to meet reality� (Ha'aretz, Jerusalem).

"... possession of even one pill will still be technically a crime and explained the new category of �personal use� is designed to distinguished between users and suppliers...

"The change coincided with the publication of a report in the UK by leading civil liberties organisation Transform which predicted that all drugs will be legalised in the UK by 2020."

Courtesy of: ITM News - Israel decriminalises ecstasy

My general opinion is that, there is never a fully beneficial outcome to every story. There has to be pros & cons. Tradition, i suppose. Or rather, that's just the way things work. We can't always choose to be biased & naive & ignorant. Surely severe consequences would have to be dealt with if that were the case. The reality is that, in the clubbing scene, the usage of drugs is inevitable. It will get circulated, one way or the other. So what's the point in trying to turn a blind eye?

On the other hand, however, the tragic case of the 'Red Mitsubishis' [girl died by dropping half of the tablet containing PMA] reflected the dangers of consuming party drugs. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out why they were made illegal in the first place. Therefore, the only possible solution is to ensure that the eckies are of laboratory-tested MDMA & not just from some dodgy garage ensemble.

Images extracted from erowid

Common form of impurities include micro-sized glass bits, rat poison & whatnots. One of my mates in KL once found himself staring at a wire upon snapping the eckie in half. Must be some cheapskate deal.

More info & on drugs and such on the ever-popular erowid site. Also, more reasons to believe why anyone of reasonable intelligence ought to avoid them chemicals.

NB: Whilst care has been taken to preserve the relevance of the presented facts, the disclaimer shall hold no responsibility should the reader abuse the delivered information as the main purpose of context is to educate & entertain.

Heyfever

OK OK so you got me! What more can you ask for? Leave me aloneee!!!

*WAARTCHOOO!*
*Sniff! Snort! Sniff!*

Damn pollen grains.

Woke up this morning with a throbbing head.
Looked in the mirror with puffy eyes.
Breathed in with a heavy chest & stuffed nose.

Uh-oh. Mrs.VY's tale of chronic hayfever during her first stay in spring-seasoned Canada struck me. I had the same symptoms. Drat! It's now back to sweaters and jumpers and two layers of socks and whatnots. Oh the glory of being ill.

Now i really wished i was back home. Where mother would make me all sorts of appetizing dishes because when i am ill, i loose my appetite pretty badly. Then father would give me a soothing head massage and both would ensure that i do not get out of bed [excludes loo visits of course] by getting brother to guard me. Then it's DVD marathon all the way.

Yes, I know what you're thinking - spoiled brat.

But i can't help it. I'm so used to being pampered when i'm unwell. *sigh!* Now i wish i have a boyfriend who will bring me abalone porridge & McD's filet-o-fish & warm vanilla malt milk & black forest cheesecake. Heheh... what a way to boost the lost appetite ;p

Oh well. I just need to be a big girl, for once. But man do i miss my family. This fever bullshit is making me feel super depressed too. Plus, my body's burning as we speak. Better check temperature now.

*licks index finger before placing it at the hips*

*sizzle-sizzle!*

Yup, it's official. I am one hot sick chick.

Ramadhan

"The bazaars in Brunei are bustling again with Muslims shopping for delicacies and food before breaking fast in the Holy month of Ramadhan."

Courtesy of: Sunday Borneo Bulletin.

Boo Hoo! i'm missing out! =,(

Mothball versus Scissors

"CHONGQING - Residents of a remote village in south-west China have been baffled by a strange phenomenon for the past 32 years - holes appearing mysteriously in clothes and fabric that are not worn on the body."

i thought of mothballs at this stage, until...

" 'We tried all sorts of things, hid the clothes in the cupboard, put them at the head of the bed, but the holes kept appearing for no reason. However, the people soon noticed that clothing that was worn on the body did not get unexplained holes appearing in them,' according to Madam Peng."

OK so maybe wearing all seven underwears in one day, layers upon layers with the 'Monday' for Mondays inside first, followed by 'Tuesday' for Tuesdays over the Monday layer, and so on, will probably get in the way of the farmer's comfort when they're out harvesting their crops.

"Panic soon spread among the people in the small village, some of whom then decided to pack up and leave."

New neighbour: So what brings you to this village?
Former Chongqing resident: Here no need to worry about holes in my crocodiles.

"Mostly illiterate, the villagers at that time thought evil spirits were at work and called in a medium to exorcise the spirits."

Devil at work - *Snip! Snippity! Snip! Snip! Snip!* "Nyahaha!"

"An expert believed the mysterious holes were probably the result of movements in the earth's magnetic field that were caused by environmental changes, the report said."

Man i adore the paranormal world.

Maybe i have lost it. Been tripping for three days in a row. Hence the mocking attitude. Anyway, the story is in courtesy of today's issue of Singapore's The Straits Times, 'Mystery of the holes in clothes'.

On a more serious note, maybe this would enlighten my doubts about eBay:

"... the teenager topped up his pocket money to the tune of �45,000 by preying on unsuspecting bargain hunters on the internet auction site eBay. He offered non-existent electrical items for sale on the site and squirrelled some of the money buyers handed over into his several bank accounts, splashing the rest of it on his lavish lifestyle."
- The Guardian: Boy, 16, in �46,000 eBay con

Forty-six grand?! In POUNDS!

*fantasizes about a theraphetic shopping spree*

Hoo boy... You and i both, pal.

Hard Wire: The Verdict

It was fab. All that wait since last week's entry finally paid off. Fairly similar to last month's Time Tunnel except it was jammed packed then. This one was rather deserted. Well at least there's more space to dance.

Hardwire @ Arena 2004

The lights

The crowd

The fairy

The kitty

The shufflers

DJ Jon Langford (UK) & the massive visual screen

Apparently i got the best deal in the market which was pretty hard to get a hold of. Mr.K and his mates have been searching high and low for it since their last drop at the start of the year. Unfortunately, i got a little too worried about a particular mate who has low tolerance on chemicals/alcohol & therefore my alertness got the better of me & somehow managed to fade the buzz. Now ain't that dandy.

Some might find me odd but when i'm out clubbing, i'd like to be left alone & appreciate the music. A little bit of chat here & there is fine but when someone is in my face too much, i get irritated & feel the desperate urge to make a dash towards the nearest exit. Then there are those who brag about being filthy rich and practically worship money, yet live on other's water bottles. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely don't mind sharing. In fact, it worries me when people are not drinking as much water. The irony is that one can afford to purchase three A$40.00 pills (ea) but found the cost of a A$4.00 water ridiculously expensive. Strange that.

Time to call it a day i guess. Ramadhan is approaching very soon. I don't think i have that much willpower to live with a guilty conscience by going out clubbing, tripping my head off while people back home are performing the terawih. Not that what i am doing is ethical religious-wise anyway, but...

Let's just say i too, have my own limits.

Daily Principles

Whatever you do, at the start of a new day, always:

1. Zip first then button your pants.
2. Work your shirt buttons from top to bottom.

What happens when you do not follow these two very important daily-life principle is that, you end up looking like you've just donated your organs to the farmer to have them sundried then roasted over a bonfire with marshmallows to feed the wild boars. Don't worry, i don't get that either.

So after hopping out of the bus, feeling like a million bucks after that refreshing morning shower with Faithless's soothing 'I am waiting' humming in my eardrums, i stopped by the ladies' only to find myself gaping at the mirror for about sex... sorry, i meant SIX fat seconds. To my horror, my fly was undone AND i missed a button on my Giordano white blouse. To top it off, it was neither at the very top nor very bottom. No siree. It was right smack in the middle of my clevage, thus exposing my favourite black-and-red, cute little-hawaiian-surfer-girl-with-a-peace-gesture lingerie. What a mouthful.

If anyone could ever die from embarrasment, i would make history. Most likely for being the first person and the steady record holder for the infinite number of embarassing incidents.

Just like that time when i smacked some other chick's bottom with my physics textbook by mistake, thinking that it was one of my girlfriends.

Then there's that time when i stepped out of the public loo with my pants soaking wet and soggy boots because the toilet decided to flush me instead of my by-product.

And not forgetting that moment when i said to my girl friend, "Oh so this is your brother," pointing at her picture with her hair cropped short.

People, do understand that I have a reputation to live up to; and that is to be a loony idiot.

Somebody shoot me. Please.

Forwared Love

Six years ago, i came up with my first email address which was severely infected with a perky disease. What i mean by this is that, it had a rather dodgy and immature user name. You know how it is when you first start something you tend to overdo it with the 'creativity' section. But as time goes by, and seeing more of something, you know which appearance or impression is more appropriate. Some would regard it as "learning". I suppose the exposure gives you a little bit of an insight of the real deal.

Take, for instance, web building. You can tell it's the debut masterpiece with fonts THIS BIG and text tYpEd likE tHiS in bright yellow font in a neon green background. Graphix too comprises of those obtained from Google or Yahoo! search engines. And you'd normally see those fluttery doves with envelopes in their beaks floating above a mailbox, usually gif files, to act as the 'mail me' link.

Then, as one does a little research and sight-seeing, he then upgrades to flash and use standard-sized fonts, typically less than or equal to three types of font sytles. Colours too tend to be more friendlier to the eyesight, thus projecting a more professional look.

That is one long and detailed metaphor, no?

So anyway, back to my email issue. As i was a newbie and green to all this emailing scene, i get extremely psyched when i get 2-for-1 deals of collagen supplements, thinking that these firms are actually personally concerned about my well-being and how i am going to start wrinkling at thirty-four. Then there were other sorts of promotions that never fail to excite me whenever i access my account thinking, "Aww... Nestle is too kind."

Yes, i admit. Sakai. I was naive and gullible and whatnots.

Also, back then, i respond to every single forwarded messages sent; particularly chain letters and oh-so-touching forwards. Can you believe that i, the ever sensible noble sinner, did such a thing? Of course you do.

Nowadays i still get those forwards. Especially from those who can't be bothered to drop even a single line to say hi and let me know that they're doing (un)well. Apparently the reason being is because of the numerous workload they're constantly bombarded with. Yet the irony is that, an average of ten forwards a week at the length of an essay has been read and sent. Oh i'm sure that the time required to do all those would be less than typing out a two-lettered greeting and click send. No doubt there.

OK so let's say that forwards indicate that i am still in his mailing list and that i have not been forgotten. Not yet anyway. But how do you explain those whom i barely know, and deliver out those 'you are special to me & i love you' messages and saying the same to the other twenty-six in his mailing list? I can't be that charismatic and influential that i am able to get on his buddies list after two minutes worth of virtual chat.

Odd. One actually told me to protect his ego. That he wanted his mailing list to look good and that he had a lot of friends. Maybe that's where the 'If you send to 1-5 you're liked. If you send this to 6-10 then you're loved' comes into effect. Or is it the other way around. Either way is just sad. Then there are those who believe whole-heartedly on the threats from chain letters that their happiness depended on forwarding emails. How pathetic can you get?

This day, whenever i receive a forwarded mail, especially from a respectable person, i begin to doubt whether what was said in the email is sincere or is it just out of pure boredom and ignorance. In other words, it's pitiful matters like these that make the meanings of the messages less meaningful than it should be. Forwards, it seems to me, are just that - forwards.

Last week had been a blast

Last week had been a blast. Despite a few shitty episodes, the company of my mates somehow managed to clear my polluted mind.

Special thank yous to the gang who went through a lot of hassle for the surprise birthday party. I was gobsmacked the minute i walked into my apartment only to see balloons hanging over the laundry doorway and the twenty-ish people booming "Happy Birthday!" I just cannot believe that i, of all i-can-sense-what's-goin-on people, did not have the slightest clue about what's going on. Probably because I was highly aware of people having heaps of commitment & therefore had expected nothing more than a greeting. Lucky for me, they lived up beyond my expectations [though some below but it doesn't matter anymore]. The bottom line is, i was stuffed with a three pound chocolate mud cake & had real good fun. Not to mention feeling more worthwhile than ever. Whee!

Much gratitude to the commitee members' manager, Mr.FY, followed by assistant manageress, Ms.WL and other supervisors, Ms.YK & hubby Mr.AD. And the OSMN sisters. LOL! Of course, the list goes on. Chances are, they won't be reading the cast & credits list anyway so i'll just save it for a good use in the near future.

Here i present you the new members of the family:

Teddy bear 3/4 my size which i'd like to call Smirnoff. Apparently upon purchasing, Ms.WS had to give it a piggy back ride all the way from around the city to the apartment & among the many grins she got from passersby, one actually pointed out that the bear itself was bigger than her. LOL! A very much appreciated gift from the gang.

Baileys, the adorable puppy with floopy ears, courtesy of Ms.H13.

The kitty with silk fur, Caviar. Came a long way from motherland by the family at home.

As the decision to remain anonymous still stands, pictures are not available to the general public unlike my previous blog. However, they can be accessed via David Meera's site, password protected [i think]. Or what the hell, i'll be emailing them upon request fairly soon.

Having frenz is a gift. You guys just don't know how much this means to me.

Soup tulang

Suddenly the thought of being able to open my eyes and realise i'm half blind is more thrilling than having a fifty-nine minute orgasm.

Haa. I'm just kidding. I'm not that obsessed with being an orgasmic-killing machine.

Seriously, i am half-blind. One time i was at a shopping mall in a foreign country to have my glasses renewed and went *WHAM!* on the shop's glass door because i did not realise that it was nine centimetres away from my face.

Momma threw her head back and howled with laughter instead of the typical, "Are you OK?"

Why, thank you mother dearest.

She choked on her cendol from severe laughing though.

*Snicker*

Nevertheless, i am still grateful at this moment to be able to realise that i :
1. Have only A$1.63 in my Commonwealth Bank account,
2. Have three major assignments due & haven't started scratch yet,
3. Have to shed layers upon layers of blubber,
4. Have yet to kick a habit,
5. Have to face my biggest fear which seems to be surfacing everyday.

Yes, the irony of my ever-so-exciting life. I have no doubt that the list could stretch to an infinite number. BUT i am aware that i am so much better off than probably half of the world's inhabitants. Then again, i am also highly aware that i am not even close to success when compared to the many individuals of my age who earn US$85 per hour with feet up on their computer desk, munching on pizza hut's supreme, gulping sodas, clicking their career away. I'm being serious. That's what my mate Mr.DL does three times a week as a freelance web designer. i suppose it depends on how high you aim in life. Most of the time i think it's good to use those ahead of us as a source for inspiration. Other times i reckon it's good to realise we are beyond fortunate when compared to those who strive for a grain of rice.

Am i not the biggest indecissive loser you have ever met?

Life is too addictive for me. The elements are anyway. It's like taking a bubble bath; always trying out new aromas, hooked on one brand if not the other. One minute i'm obsessed with green tea and mint. The next i'm switching to green curry and basil. Then it's cocoa and lemon-butter. They're all odd. And i put up with them, just for the sake of trying out.

Making any sense? I sure hope not.

It's funny how 'sure' is pronounced as shu-err. And 'surprise' as ser-praiz. Like Mrs.X saying to Mr.X, "Shur-praiz sayang! I made you shupp tulang."

The wonders of language.

By the way, it's my birthday today. Don't you think i am by far, wiser than i was yesterday? I think so.

Not.

Have a good one, all you beautiful people.