Whatever you do, at the start of a new day, always:
1. Zip first then button your pants.
2. Work your shirt buttons from top to bottom.
What happens when you do not follow these two very important daily-life principle is that, you end up looking like you've just donated your organs to the farmer to have them sundried then roasted over a bonfire with marshmallows to feed the wild boars. Don't worry, i don't get that either.
So after hopping out of the bus, feeling like a million bucks after that refreshing morning shower with Faithless's soothing 'I am waiting' humming in my eardrums, i stopped by the ladies' only to find myself gaping at the mirror for about sex... sorry, i meant SIX fat seconds. To my horror, my fly was undone AND i missed a button on my Giordano white blouse. To top it off, it was neither at the very top nor very bottom. No siree. It was right smack in the middle of my clevage, thus exposing my favourite black-and-red, cute little-hawaiian-surfer-girl-with-a-peace-gesture lingerie. What a mouthful.
If anyone could ever die from embarrasment, i would make history. Most likely for being the first person and the steady record holder for the infinite number of embarassing incidents.
Just like that time when i smacked some other chick's bottom with my physics textbook by mistake, thinking that it was one of my girlfriends.
Then there's that time when i stepped out of the public loo with my pants soaking wet and soggy boots because the toilet decided to flush me instead of my by-product.
And not forgetting that moment when i said to my girl friend, "Oh so this is your brother," pointing at her picture with her hair cropped short.
People, do understand that I have a reputation to live up to; and that is to be a loony idiot.
Somebody shoot me. Please.
No comments:
Post a Comment